I never thought the older that I got, the more like Scrooge I would feel like. Being December, all of the holiday specials are on, and as usual, I'm forced to watch them... yet again. Each year that I watch them, I notice something new, and finally I have come to a conclusion... Santa is a DICK!!
It seems that in most of the old specials that Santa actually isn't the jolly old soul that he is fabled to be... he has real good PR, because in a bunch of the shows, he rivals Archie Bunker. Let me give you an example.
Since Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer is on tonite, I'll use this as my example... and I will focus solely on Santa, and not any of the other messed up stuff going on in the show. I starts right in the beginning when Rudolph is born. Santa comes to see the newborn and Rudolph miraculously knows Santa's name right out of the gate. Santa is impressed unttiiiiillllll... Rudolph's nose glows. Well, Santa can't have that... that... disability! He better grow out of it, otherwise he won't be making the sleigh team! Prejudiced at all? Nothing like shaming a whole family for a "birth defect".
Moving forward... Rudolph grows up and starts training. He is by far the best one out there, but his little nose cap pops off and the nose glows. What happens? Santa shames dad in front of everyone, while everyone else laughs at Rudolph until he takes off. Ya, I know... part of the song. Here's the thing. Rudolph runs away. Who gives a shit that he's gone? Does Santa go looking or send anyone out after him? Hell, no!! Why is he going to go and try to save a freak? (Remember this for below) Hell, dad doesn't even go out right after him. Nope... his girlfriend Clarisse chases him down and finds him... how sad.
Continuing on, Rudolph gets to the Isle of Misfit Toys... WTF!! Why is this even here? Isn't Santa and his elves supposed to be expert toy makers? How does a train with square wheels and a fish that can fly get by? More importantly... why is Santa banishing these poor deformed toys out into the middle of the wilderness, left supposedly to their own devices. Another little peek into Santa and his intolerance for anyone different.
Finally, we get back to Santa's Workshop, and he is going to have to cancel X-mas because of a snowstorm... you know... they never have those at the North Pole, but wait... that freak's nose glows real bright! He thinks he can talk Rudolph into being the headlight for the sleigh. Of course, Rudolph makes the stipulation about the "freak toys" on Misfit Isle... which he relents to. Then there is the delivery... he picks up the freaks, and when he goes to deliver them to the "lucky" kids... what does he do? Does he land on the roof and go down the chimney? Hell, no!! He gives them a little umbrella and pitches them over the side of the sleigh... not even slowing down or checking to see if they made it. For all he knows, the wind blew them into a tree, the front yard, or the maw of a toy eating animal!! (scared face!)
If all that doesn't scream DICK to you... I don't know what would. Just think... this is only 1 show. How many others does he abuse elves, reindeer and other beings?